Archive - July, 2007

Just read this at www.shipoffools.com…really made me chuckle!

THE CALL TO WORSHIP

Minister: Dearly beloved, we are gathered together this morning to celebrate the government ban on cigarette smoking in church.

All: We are?

Minister: We are indeed, because as we all know, people smoke in church all the time.

All: Not.

Minister: Therefore let us stub out our cigarettes with gladness, and cast off the works of darkness by joining together in the words of the Smoker’s Prayer.

All: Can you give us a light?


THE HYMN

Minister: We stand to wheeze our way through the hymn.

Hymn: Light Up the Fire (to the tune “Richmond King Size”)


THE BLESSING OF THE “NO SMOKING” SIGNS

The new plastic “No Smoking” signs (one for each entrance into the church, as required by the UK Health Act 2006) are laid upon the altar. The deacon takes the thurible and censes the signs from each side of the altar, using “Old Smoky No. 6″ mixture (Navy Cut).

Minister: Bless these hideous signs, O Lord. May they ever remind us not to smoke in the pews.

All: Or have a furtive drag in the vestry.

The minister may now lead the people in a time of holy coughing.


ORGAN VOLUNTARY

Smoke Gets In Your Eyes (arr. M. Physema)


THE PEACE

The congregation may now process to the main door of the church and stand outside for a 5-minute smoking break. Please share with those who may not have brought their own, and place your cigarette ends, as normal, in the collection plate during the offertory.

THE DISMISSAL

Minister: God hates fags.

All: In the English sense of that word.

Minister: May the marketing of St Peter Stuyvesant, St Benson and St Hedges not be with us all, evermore.

All: Amen.

link

Sexual Orienation Discrimination Test Case

July 18, 2007 in Random reflections with Comments Off

The BBC today reports that the Christian youth worker turned down from a post has won his Employment Tribunal case on the grounds of unfair discrimination because of his sexual orientation.

This has been the first test case of the legislation which makes it illegal to discriminate against people as a result of their sexual orientation. The law does contain an exemption for organised religion.

As an Human Resources professional and a Christian, I really don’t know what to make of this.

I believe that churches should be free to appoint leaders who’s lifestyle is compatible with their beliefs and teachings, not because they are less capable of doing the job, but because we are called to live our lives “blameless and holy in the presence of our God and Father” (1 Thes 3:13). If leaders are living their lives in ways that are not honouring to God (and in terms of sexuality I believe that means any sexual relationships outside of marriage, but applies to areas other than sexuality, e.g. drugs or alcohol abuse, gambling addictions etc) then I don’t feasibly see how they can lead God’s church. That is not to say that God only wants perfect people to serve Him, but leaders do have to set an example, and particularly when working with young people are seen as role models. I do think that this only applies to leadership positions in the church, and I certainly wouldn’t have a problem with anyone working in areas where they didn’t have responsibility for preaching, teaching or pastoring.

However, I also think that the church has a responsibility to show care and compassion, and it appears that in this case, the individual concerned felt he wasn’t treated in a way honouring to God. I hope the diocese concerned learns from this, but at the same time I hope they do appeal against the judgement, and that the Employment Appeals Tribunal really investigate what the “organised religion” exemption in the Employment Equality regulations actually means.

Which way?

July 14, 2007 in Family with Comments Off

Kaity likes watching a programme called Me Too on CBeebies. Each episode starts off with a parent (or dog owner) dropping off their child (or pet) at childminder Grannie Murray’s house who then gives them a “thought for the day” before they head off to work. As they leave the house, they break in to song asking for help in finding the right way for where they are going: “Should I go left now, should I go right? Which way is wrong and which way is right?”

I’ve come to a bit of a crossroads at the moment, and find myself asking the same questions? Es & I feel that we need a change, and that God has got something more for us than we’re doing now, but how do we find it? And how do we know where we heading, let alone which road to take to get there?

There’s some events coming up in the next few weeks that might make things a bit clearer…or they might not. If only there was a life roadmap available!

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